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July 5, 2005
Just Friends
I had an insightful conversation with Mr. Bus Driver Guy today. He saw me this morning while on his route, and he told me that he needed to talk to me. I said ok. I told him to call me during my lunch break. He actually didn't call. I forgot that I told him to call & went about my business.
It wasn't until later in the evening that he called me. We made small talk. The small talk was boring me, so I asked what he wanted to speak to me about. He began to tell me that he's enjoying getting to know...yada yada ya...and so on.
He told me that I'm a really sweet young lady...blaze blah. I was curious to hear what he was getting at. I said, "Gee Rob. Are you married?" and I started to laugh. He paused. I was like AWW MAN...HE IS MARRIED!! He assured me that he wasn't married. I breathed a sigh of relief.
He finally got around to what he wanted to say to me.
"I think we're moving to fast.", he said.
I jokingly replied, "Moving too fast? I didn't think we were moving at all." I said it to be funny, but I was actually dead serious.
He began to explain how he wanted to be friends without all the hang-ups of a dating relationship. He had me a bit confused considering that I told him the exact same thing when we started talking a little while ago. I asked, "Where is all this coming from?"
He said that he didn't want to hurt my feelings. What's interesting is that he didn't hurt my feelings. I told him that hearing him say those things made me feel alot more comfortable just being his friend. I'm not interested in pursuing a dating relationship with anyone right now, so that was pretty much music to my ears.
I don't think that he expected me to react in the manner that I did. He said, "Really?" I was like YES NEGRO! I had to break it down to him.
I explained that it was easy for me to accept what he said because I've done something with him that I've never done with any other man. I recognized him first as my brother. Not a sibling type brother, but a brother in the Lord. The fact that he is very outspoken about the faith he serves made it so easy for me not to get all caught up in the emotional & physical stuff.
I see our friendship as a spiritual one. It never went beyond that. He knew his limitations, and I knew mine. Neither one of us overstepped those boundaries. That made me respect him alot more as a man.
I'm trying to guard my heart from many of the things we as humans tend to fall into while in relationships. I'm still trying to win the battle of lust, self-esteem issues & other stuff that so often hinder a person's relationship with God.
I'm glad that he was open in telling me that he didn't want our friendship to go beyond just that. I rest easy now knowing that he's not ready to pursue a relationship with me. I smile as I write that. I think I'm going to enjoy & appreciate his friendship much more.
Posted by Timi at July 5, 2005 11:46 PM
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Comments
i don't know what else to say but that's pretty darn cool that you both kept it level.
*in best know-it-all voice* and for more on this, you should check out my BRILLIANT commentary/discussion w/ gabi on her blog under 'She who finds a good man' and 'Who needs Eharmony.' You will not be dissapointed. I guarantee it.'
ok, beyond tired.
Posted by: Jason Dye at July 6, 2005 1:46 AM
Yo thats for real. I think people need to holla at just being friends and stop looking at every guy or girl that comes into our lives as a potential wife or husband. Christians are so very pressed in that area and it just makes it hard to have a true friend and decent guy/girl relationships without all of the dating expectations. I am glad both of yall are on the same page, cause usually thats not the case. Enjoy your new friend girl.
Posted by: SPIRIT at July 6, 2005 11:38 AM
cool! i am glad that you are getting your needs met.
Posted by: brandi at July 6, 2005 12:21 PM
he scores a couple of points for being real and up front...basically a real man. However, why did he pursue u so hard if he just wanted to be friends. I guess he found that "hard to get" attitude attractive. Good luck with him, and yall new friendship.
Posted by: Ty at July 6, 2005 6:20 PM
Amen! How did I miss this? I wish more women would do that. You can save yourself from a lot of unnecessary heartache.
Posted by: Gabi at July 7, 2005 11:59 AM
I think when you are with the "right" person you don't need to guard your feelings. If you feel comfortable being friends only it is important to make it crystal clear and be sure homeboy understands the concept of friends means friends not friends with benefits ;-)
Posted by: Ms. Maybelline at July 11, 2005 2:42 PM
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