USS Clueless: Earth to Timi

We met up in the parking lot. He noticed me first. I wasn't paying much attention to anyone.

"Key?", A voice from behind me called. I turned to see who it was. He smiled. How could I forget a smile like that. All of his teeth were perfectly aligned & beautifully white. Seeing him was a surprise.

"WOW! I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays. How are you?", I said to him. We embraced with a hug. GOD HE SMELLS GOOD! He asked what I was doing in the park. I told him that I wanted to walk a few miles around the track. He said that he planned to jog around the track, but he would walk with me.

As we walked, we talked about how things have changed in both of our lives. I explained to him that my current issues have been bumming me out. He told me that he had recently separated from his wife and he was pretty bummed about that. He claimed she cheated, but I know him, so he could've been covering up his own indiscretions.

I made sure to keep a solid space between as we walked...at least a foot & a half. He asked me why I had moved so far away from him. I made up a story being allergic to his cologne. He was wearing Echo...not as enticing as Cool Water, but intriguing none the less. He inched closer to me. His arm brushed my arm and old memories flooded my head.

I was introduced to him by a cousin during my freshman year in college. He was a little older than myself. He was very assertive. He knew how to draw a young girl like myself. At the time, I had a boyfriend, but didn't matter much. This new guy would be my secret. Nobody had to know but us. He'd come to pick me up, we'd go out out, he'd drop me off & that's how it begun. I thought that he was a really nice guy. I dared not tell my parents about him because they'd tell me that he was too old for me. I was 18. He was 26. He violated my 5 year statute of limitations. I wasn't stupid either. I knew that he wouldn't continue picking me up & taking me out without something in return.

I would tell him about my relationship with my boyfriend. He would listen. He would tell me that I should dump my boyfriend & get with him. I weighed my options. Being with him really wasn't an option. He was way too experienced for me. Plus, my father would've shot him. He knew that I was a virgin. He didn't try anything with me because whenever he came close to me, I just about jumped out of my skin. He used to whisper things in my ear, and my mind would wonder. He wrote me detailed letters of how he wished our times were spent together. My mother found one of these letters once, and she said it disturbed her. I told her that it was from Kiwan, my boyfriend. I pretended as if I hadn't read it already. She didn't believe me. My mom knew when I was lying.

His letters continued. Then, he invited me to spend a weekend with him. I accepted. I told myself that I could stay with him without doing anything that I'd regret. I was on break from school. I told my mother that I would be staying with a cousin. The guy called my house looking for me. My mother became suspicious of him. She began inquiring about him. She somehow managed to get his real age. She wanted to know his intentions. She wasn't very happy with him pursuing me. She put two & two together and realized that I was going to spend the weekend with him. She wasn't having that. She told my father on me. They forbade me from seeing him, but I didn't listen. I would call him when I was back at school. I broke up with my boyfriend. He'd take me out. His whispers turned to touches. His detailed letters became descriptive voice mails. I was beginning to believe that I was in over my head.

I paged him once and a woman returned my call. It was his wife. Then I realized that I was in way over my head. I cut all ties with him.

I was snapped back into present tense when he asked me what was I thinking. I said nothing. He said, "I know that look." I rolled my eyes. He said, "I remember that look too." I said, "I bet you do." We began talking & laughing. He told me that I still look 18. I joked & told him that he looks every bit of 34. He laughed at me.

He grabbed for my left hand & stared at it. I snatched it away. I asked him what he was doing. He said, "I was checking for a wedding ring." I said, "Why?" "I wanted to be sure that you aren't married.", he replied. I said, "Why?" "Because you are flirting with me.", he said with a wink. I couldn't conceal my smile.

"I am not flirting with you.", I proclaimed. He says, "Yes you are. I don't think you're boyfriend would like that." I told him that if he wanted to know my relationship status, then he should just ask. He didn't believe that I was single. He said, "You always keep a jump off. I don't believe that." I had to laugh at that one.

A jump off? I told him that I wasn't like him. I don't have a husband nor do I keep dudes on the side. He started to clown me. He said, "Sure. say what you want, but I know that you have at least 2 cats on the side."

I was like, "How do you figure?" He said, "I know because I was your jump off. I was your guy on the side while your boyfriend was away." I shook my head. "Tony, Ali, Kwan...", He started naming guys. "Tony is the only name I recognize from that list and he is not a jump off.", I said laughing. He still had a sense of humor. All the laughter & the jokes couldn't hide the fact that I still think he's a dog. He asked me why I stopped calling him. I told him that he should ask his wife why I stopped called calling. He didn't have much to say about that.

It was getting late, so I told him that I needed to go. He asked me for my phone number. I refused to give it to him, so he gave me his. He asked me out to dinner. Again, I refused. I walked back to the car and I left. I'm not 18 anymore. He's already made a family. I haven't even started. A ready made family is not in my plans.

So now at 3am in the morning, I understand the importance of not selling one's self short. I'm glad that I shut off ties with him. I was happy that my mother found that letter, and discovered my secret rendevous with him. He was no good for me. Had I gotten deeply involved (including sex) with him, then I would've ended up broken-hearted. I could've ended up in an unhealthy relationship with a married man. He wanted to break me, but I thank God that I was smart enough to say no. Thank you Lord for wisdom.