USS Clueless: Earth to Timi

This past Sunday, she asked me if I wanted to go to the movies w/ her & a friend. I said ok. I assumed that the friend would be a young woman named Jernell. I asked my cousin to pick me up at friend's apartment downtown. When my cousin arrived I saw her in the car with her friend. It wasn't Jernell. It was her boyfriend Cedric. I noticed a car double-parked behind Cedric's. I asked her the person was & Kia says, "That's Cedric's brother Joe." I immediately became upset with her. I knew she was going to try something. She does this to me all the time.

We went to Applebee's prior to going to the movies. My cousin & boyfriend sat on one side of a booth while they placed me with Joe on the other side. Joe grossed me out. He was wearing lousy cologne, and he had one of those "Suge Knight" beards. I don't like that at all. He kept itching towards me. Everytime our thighs bumped, I moved away. After a while, I was smashed against the wall. I asked him to move. My cousin gave me a look as if to say, "Be nice!"

After dinner, we went to see Hitch. My cousin & her boyfriend decided that it would be a good idea for Joe & I to have some alone time in the theater. She & Cedric sat in the another section of the theater. That REALLY pissed me off. During the entire movie he was talking, and he kept trying to put his arm around me. I asked him to stop because he was hurting my sore shoulder. Then, he began lying his head on my shoulder. I hit him. He didn't touch me again. I sent a text to Adam saying, "I'm at the movies with the most annoying guy ever." Adam responded back with, "You should start farting or something." That made me giggle a little bit.

He began to text message back & forth with another chick. I didn't care, but the light from his cell phone was annoying me & everyone else on our row. As the movie neared an end, he tried that "90%" kiss thingy that Hitch advised in the movie. Your boy almost got knocked out. After he did that, I got up and sat in another section alone. When the movie was finally over, my cousin takes it upon herself to ask Joe to take me home because she wants to go home with Cedric. THE AUDACITY OF THIS HEFFER!

While in the car with him, he started saying all kinds of stupid stuff to me. Whenever he opened his mouth, he brains fell out. I became uncharacteristically rude to him. He said, "Your cousin said that you were nice." I responded with, "I am. To people I like." He made this killer left turn that freaked me out because a car almost ran into us ON MY SIDE. After that, I figured that he was crazy as hell, so I kept my mouth shut. I decided that was best for me to do in order to get home safely.

After a moment of silence, this guy offends me in the worst way. He says, "I hear that your saving yourself for marriage?" I gave him the look from hell. I said, "What's it to you?" I wanted to get home quickly, so that I could my cousin and cuss her out. I was pre-preparing the words in my head. I was going to give her a swift tongue lashing. He says, "I dont believe that. So I have absolutely no chance at all?" I clenched my fist & my teeth. If he hadn't been driving, I would've straight two-pieced him in his face. I told him that those aren't things that he says to a lady he doesn't know.

I didn't say anything else to him for the remainder of the drive. He was making comments here & there, but I pretty much ignored him. When we arrived at my house, he asks if I would like him to walk me to my door. I told him that if he asks to ask me that, then the answer is no. What kind of mess? A gentleman doesn't ask...he just does it.

As I was exiting the car, he says, "This didn't go as planned huh?." I said, "I never knew the plan" and I walked off. I was SALTY. I called my cousin & left 6 messages on her phone. When she called me back, she got an earful. She didn't even apologize.

Now she wants me to hang out with her again. I THINK NOT!