USS Clueless: Earth to Timi

I suppose that's sort of normal for a single person. Right now, It would be nice to be married, but I'm just not prepared for that transition. It would no longer be about me. It would be about US. US? That's serious. I'd have to be more rational in my decision making. I'd have to think of his feelings before I do what I want to do.

That's not a bad thing. It's just weird thinking about me as a wife. I know I'd make a lovely wife. I can't imagine a man NOT being enthralled with me. I want to do the married stuff...like travel with my husband...Get on his nerves...Engage in indulging conversation...have sex (It's better to marry than burn. keepin it real). This virgin life is pressing. And people think that we don't get tempted. Whew...THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!

So umm...yea...I enjoy the idea of spending the rest of my life with a loving man. Anyways...

In the midst of my day dreaming, a serious conversation was brewing. They were debating compromise. The men were saying that the women HAVE to do what their husbands ask & want of them. In spite of how much they don't like it. Of course, the women objected to that. My cousin's friend began to argue that marriage is compromise. She went on to say that God didn't create Eve to be Adam's servant. He created Eve to be Adam's HELP. The two were one. They work TOGETHER.

I didn't participate in the debate. I sat there listening to them talk occasionally laughing and agreeing with my girls. I knew I'd be thrust into the conversation soon enough. Somebody always has to say something stupid. One of the guys said, "My wife has to do as I say. I don't care about what she wants. God made me head, so I rule. She has to cater to me."

He was serious. That angered me. It wouldn't have angered me if he were joking around. But he was sincere in his caveman thinking. He went on & on about how his wife has to ask him for permission & stuff. I cut him off. I said, "She's you're wife. Not your child! You're her husband. Not her father!" I told him that he needs to open up his bible & read the book of Genesis more closely. He's going to be single & living with his mother forever. He accused me of not being able to compromise.

I said, "I can compromise for my husband. You aren't talking compromise. You're talking subservience & domination. That's not marriage. That's disillusion that will lead to NOTHING. What will you do if she doesn't obey? Beat her? That's the only way you're gonna get any woman with common sense to do as you say."

A compromise is doing something that he wants to do (even though you really want to do something else) because you know it's going to make him happy. And vice versa. A compromise is not doing something that he wants to because he says so. That's crazy!

I'm all about making my husband happy, but I refuse to create an unhealthy environment for myself while trying to make him happy. It's not worth it, and I don't think God would want me in such a situation.

I'm a die-hard Eagles fan, but if my love of the Eagles is a problem for my husband, them I'd ease up on the Eagles....What am I saying? Yea right!...that was a bad example.

Ok here's a better one...I love my Eagles, but if my husband played for another team and that team was playing the Eagles in the superbowl, then by all means, I'm routing for my husband. Number, Jersey & all. Hell...I'll wear the team's mascot to support my man. I'd pick a fight with Donovan McNabb's mom. "My husband just sacked your son! What now! He's gonna be suckin his chunky soup from a straw!" OK...that's a bit over the top...but you get my point.

So the moral of the story is...

Subservience is not the same as being submissive

AND

Compromise is two-way not Do-As-I-Say.

Get It. Got It? Good.