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December 9, 2004
Insecurity
I have to be honest. I have a tendency to be a bit insecure. I sometimes long for the approval of others (family in particular). Sometimes I need re-assurance. Sometimes I need a hug. At times I need that little confidence booster that makes me feel as if I am somebody. For a while, I thought that there was something wrong with me. I'm a Christian. I've been to my share of women's conferences. I've sat in on the "encouragement for women" sermons. I've been (and still am) a member of the women's fellowship. I have all the assurance I need surrounding me. So, why do I still feel insecure?
I don't know. At times I am very confident and at times I'm not. I've been told that I'm a little arrogant & vain, but when I look at myself in the mirror I see a girl who feels that she need's worldwide approval. I sometimes believe that my cockiness is a guise for the insecurity hidden underneath. For instance, sometimes my friends will say, "You are so pretty." I'll respond with, "I know", but later I'll find the closest mirror to stare at myself just to give myself that reassures that I really am pretty.
My mother raised me to be confident. I'm intelligent, independent, very attractive and good hearted. I don't have any issues attracting the opposite sex. So why do I feel this way? I guess it's normal for women (especially black women) to feel a little insecure. I know that I would like to walk outside of my home not worrying about what others are thinking of me. I'll continue to pray that God will give me that confidence to do so.
Posted by Timi at December 9, 2004 5:43 PM
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