USS Clueless: Earth to Timi

I jumped in the shower. While in the shower, I began to think of all of my friends WHO KNEW it was birthday but didn't call me. I began to name family members aloud & curse them out. I began to cry again while in the shower. I think I spent a good 45 minutes in the shower. I was interrupted by a knock on my bathroom door. I assumed that it was the cleaning lady...but why would the cleaning lady be stopping by this late in the evening? The person on the other end of the door says, "Ma'am. We at the hotel are all about water conservation & our water meter shows, that you've been the shower for 2 hours. We only allow 20 minutes for showering. Each 5 minutes afterwards is $5."

I was like, "What? You're going to charge me to clean myself?" The person on the other end of the door explains this so-called policy & tells me that if I didn't like it, I could find another hotel. I caught an attitude as usual. I put on my robe, opened the bathroom door preparing to curse this chick out & there in front of me stood my 3 best friends & another friend from college. They all burst out in laughter. Then they shouted, "Happy Birthday" and gave me gifts. I asked them how they got into the room. My one friend, who made the room reservations for me, told me that she booked the room for two under my name, so all she had to do was say that she was the other person in the room, show ID & the hotel guy gave her a key.

Needless to say that I was very surprised. I cut my phone on to be greeted by 8 birthday greetings from both family & friends. My Columbus friend tells me that she is giving me a "surprise" party. We drove to her apartment in the cornfields. Once, I saw all the farm land, I knew that I was in for a LONG evening. She did the invitation list to "my party". She invited about 20 people from her school that I DID NOT know. I was not too thrilled about that.

I listened to these people spend hours talking about how much they loved their school, their church & their pastor. I was bored out of my mind. I really had my heart set on spending the evening with my girlfriends. I wanted this to be an exclusive party...I didn't know those people! By the topics of their conversations, they didn't care to know me either. They just wanted free food. The greedy freeloaders! One chick spent a half hour trying to convince me that the degradation of humankind was the fault of homosexuals and that the "market" for corporations is not growing because of the increase of abortions in society. I was begging God to end the night, so that I could go back to my hotel & drown my sorrows in biggest container of ice cream that I could find.

When the night ended, it was about 11pm. I decided that it was too late to try to make it back to the hotel alone, so I stayed at my friends apartment. On Sunday morning, I awakened, drove back to the hotel & got dressed to make it on time to orientation. My friends visited again & we had lunch together. After that, they all left & I was back in orientation.

Now I'm back in the hotel room. I'm happy that my friends showed up, but I'm disgusted because my birthday sucked & I have to get up at 8am to attend this bogus training. UGH!!!!!! I knew their was reason that I couldn't get too excited for my birthday...